Results are in!
I got this last Friday. I have HIV level 1 and 2 Strains..I'm not
really sure what that means but it just confirms my sluttyness I guess..
I already knew the results before I got this so its no shocker for me..
This will be my new birth certificate..I Choose to live! For the better!
This certificate will serve not as the end but the beginning of something new...something great..I will become a better version of me...I will prove
to myself that My mom didn't made a mistake having me...I will prove to myself
that I can be anything I want to be! I plan to succeed in life! It is never too
late for me! This is not a curse that I have but a gift! A gift to see things
in a new perspective...This is only the start for me :-) Life, Here I come!
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
It's been ages since I last talked to you. While it's true that I have been busy with life, I really did avoid even thinking of you until last night when I was at a dinner party. People who knew me from you started asking me questions as to why I stopped talking to you and I couldn't really shake off the conversation which put me in a hot spot. You see, after you became a book, you became bigger than me. I did anticipate that it may happen, however what I wasn't expecting is reaction...I wasn't prepared to be the poster boy for "POSITIVITY" and "INSPIRATION" there are ALOT of RESPONSIBILITIES riding on my back at that time which I really did not want to and need. I just wanted to have fun and play! And then weeks became months, months became a years and before I know it, I'm fucking 30 years old and my priorities has changed but still, I refuse to acknowledge you. I guess a part of me wanted to erase those dark years of my life because finally, I was able to achieve being the average joe. So here I am again...This time, there are no dark stories to tell, no lesson learned. But all I have to say for now, is that I'm doing ok. It took allot for me to be ok and I guess I'd also want to say THANK YOU for being there when I had nobody to turn to...You became my fucking outlet for me to be able to achieve stuff that I didn't dream that would be possible in this lifetime. Without you, I wouldn't have met these wonderful people who I still call friends until now. I'm glad that nobody gets to read you now...I really am glad :) At least now, I can again call you my friend. Till next time! I'll be keeping in touch!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
I just woke up from an afternoon nap feeling energized and (oddly) happy :-) For the past 2-3 weeks I have been unhappy-not depress or sad, just unhappy, but thanks God, I'm starting to feel like me again :-)
I will be turning a year older in a couple of days and I can't help but realize how lucky I am...Really, I am truly lucky! I think me being kicked out of the house opened a whole new opportunity for me. At least now, I have a job- a modest job. I say modest, because my monthly salary is like half of what I am used to getting (sometimes less than half of what I used to get) but alas! It keeps me afloat and it will pay the bills so I'm thankful for this work.
Hubby and I are now settled in on our new apartment. We just need a few more stuff then we can start calling it home :-) So far, so good-I'm not being haunted by anyone (or anything). The neighborhood is great-No fucking stray dogs and cats roaming around the street. Yes, I am not an animal person (duh!) You see, cats and dogs requires constant supervision, which means, it need to be inside a cage or on a leash, plus, they shit and piss alot. I hate-hate-hate dog poop as much as I hate cat piss. Good thing that my land lord share the same sentiments when it comes to animals.
I'm also lucky to have good friends :-) I may not see them as often as I wanted to, but I keep in touch with them on a daily basis. My friends are my family now, and they keep me sane.
So i guess this is it for now...Will read a book and hopefully get some more sleep.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
is currently busy with life...quick update: moving to a new home :-) a place where i don't have to deal with a wicked bitch and her ugly,equally venomous lesbian lover. Yes! I'm talking about my mother (fucker), since she clearly chose her lesbian old hag over me then I have considered her dead. I hope she does the same to me. I have no plans seeing her in the near or far future-not even her shadow. I just don't want anything to with her and her lesbian bitch. I don't really want to talk about her since she is no longer important.
I am currently experiencing hardship. Hardship because of all the drama in my life. Financially not doing well but I know this is just a phase. I am getting by thanks to wonderful friends. Thank God for A, A's family, Kane, Niks, G and a few others who is helping me maintain my sanity. THANK GOD for giving me such a wonderful support system. Grabe! As in without these people with me, I don't know where I'll be. They are now my family--my home.
I'm at a scary phase of my life at the moment. Too many things has changed which made me lose sleep, kept me anxious and at the edge which made my skin breakout :-( thats the real tragedy---my face has now acne and acne marks. I mean, WHY!!! WHY AT THE LOWEST POINT OF MY LIFE!!! WHYYYYYYY????!!!
Like a pimple, I know all the drama, the stress, the depression, the scary feeling of standing on my own--all these are just temporary. However, just like a fucking pimple, when I overcome these things, i know it will leave a mark. I hope in this trying times I won'tlose the site of where I wanna be and in the end, I get out of this a winner--or at least a better person.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Change is something, that I never really liked. For the past 28 years-I have always thought of myself as someone who'd just sail through life. There were alot of ups and downs but there has always been something that remained as it is...until now. I have been through a lot of deep shit, lost alot of battles, failed countless of times and rejected- During those trying times, I have felt defeat, lost and weary but there is always something to look forward to that I know deep down If I could just hibernate for while-take a breather then I'm up for the next challenge of this so called fucking life.
2012, the blue pill has worn off its effect. No more escaping from what is infront of me. Now, I say good bye to a life I thought I had and say hello to reality. Now, I pay for the consequences for the years of not taking responsibility. The time has come for me to jump off the boat and swim in the icy cold waters of adulthood. Am I ready? I have to say YES, but deep down, I'm not okay but I have to do this. This is the perfect timing to REALLY move on to the next chapter of my life. I know it's going to be tough, I know it will make me want to put a bullet in my brain but fuck! This is what I have to do...Come to think of it, THIS IS WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE YEARS AGO!
I look around me and I realize, I am being left behind...Not that I compare myself to others but surely who'd want to be left behind? I shouldn't be catching up-but I should be keeping up. I am saying goodbye to the life I though I once have and say hello to the life WANT to have. Everybody should start from the beginning, sad to say--it is only now that I am really starting. I hope I am not too late. I'm just hoping that at the end, I come out of this a better, stronger person.
The Start of this year wasn't the best but I'm wishing that the ending of this year wouldn't the same. In this trying times, It is hard to see whats infront of you--but now I just realized, I am thankful that I have a wonderful partner who may not be as vocal as he wants to be, but is quietly routing for me--for us. He is my family right now. He is my home. For that I thank God for giving me 1 person to be on my side.
This morning, I attended a surprise party for my Aunt. I couldn't help but feel emotional when she saw all her friends and family in one room cheering for her. It was her first time to ever experience a surprise party. I felt love in the air and I couldn't help but feel jealous...Not of her-but my cousins (her daughters and son). Why can't she be mom? I am not saying I am the perfect son, and I know people are rolling their eyes thinking "How could you ask for such a thing?!" But believe me, it is also true that kids never asked to be born---they were pre-assigned to their parents. Had I known when I was fetus, I would have grabbed that umbilical cord and tied it around my neck.
We were never asked to be born but here we are and we make the most of it. Some are destined for greatness, and some are just...well...destined. Have you seen that coke comercial? "Hanapin mo magpapasaya sayo?" Thats alot of bull crap. For the past 28 years I have lived with that premis and take a look at me now? I am not saying I'm all bad....I don't know, I really can't say! I guess in the end-thats where we get measured.
I'm suppose to say something profound and enlightening but I'm lost for words. All I can think of is FUCK!!!! SAVE ME!!! FAST FORWARD TO 2013 or the end of the world. I know I'll be fine. Thats the funny part of being human...We adapt to our environment...Thats what we have been doing since the beginning of time. Of course someday I'll think of this very moment and laugh it off-but its the process of getting to be okay is whats killing me...That plus the fact that when that faithful day arrives....Will be laughing at the side of a street corner covered in grease almost naked and insane? or will I be laughing it off at the roof top of my penthouse overlooking all my slaves worshiping me? SEE!!! I'm almost delusional already lolz.
One of my strengths is that I can read people. I am quick to analyze and make snap decisions turn into reality. Unfortunately, my situation right now, I can only make assumptions. I guess, its time to lay off the blue pill...time to sober up, put on your best fighting face even if you feel you can't do it and just charge! At the end, some will die, some will conquer but all did try their best.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
If there's one thing i hate it's grown-ass-men acting like a mother fucking high kids. I'm not saying I'm mature-but I maybe on my kindda late twenties but I act a little below my age (because thats how I feel like). I never really did like kids...You see, I grew up even before I hit puberty, growing up-I never had friends who are the same age as I am. They were always older. Sad to say, until this day, I have very limited interaction with people the same age as I am and even younger.
I don't know why? but I always find it hard to uhhh interact? Anyway, thats another issue and another rant but for now lets get back as to why I am irritated. It all started last Saturday, what was suppose to be a FUN-HAPPY-Saturday night turned into a night of bull shit drama!
Kane and I was invited to Mcvie's party last Saturday. We already agreed to merge our entourage into 1 big group once we get to the venue and then at 3am we hit our favorite spot in the metro to meet with ou other friends. Part of my entourage, I have my live-in partner Arcee, a dear friend G, a neophyte T and my ex M. Yes, I am good friends with my ex. We fooled and cheated with each other for three fucking years so It's just normal that we became..uhh sisters after the non-official break up (thats another story).
HENIWAYZ, As usual, Kane was late but two of his entourage wasn't, so 2 of his mates joined our group. We got to the venue around 12:50am which I think is just the right time. Like a chump, I only know 4 people in that party. I said my hellos and introduced my friends. We were greeted by hot guys wearing fishnets and gave us shots of Soju.
Our group kept to ourselves cause it seemed like people were in groups and nobody was talking to us except for one (Merc). We managed to have fun, we had bottles of booze and we were happy. I could see Arcee touching the waiters crotch and then wiping his hand on G's face while they laughed about it. My neophyte T was taking it all in, though he was quiet as a dead cockroach on a corner-he was having fun just looking at us. M on the other hand, flirted with Merc and after awhile, he was having a concert on the videoke which was cool.
A Little later, Kane finally arrived and another friend of mine dropped by. At this hour, we were on Party mode. HECK! I WAS ON PARTY MODE. People were getting wasted but I managed to keep myself sober since I know we were going to our spot after the party. At the corner of my eye, I could see my M making out with my friend who just arrived. Arcee was making out with Kanes friend and it was just hot to look at! I just had to join in and engage on a 3way make out session.
When we were about to leave and go to our next stop, I went to the loo to take a piss and voila who do I see puking and making a complete ass of himself? No other than my ex M. Since I'm such a good friend, I went over to see if he's alright. Also, I was hoping that he puke all the alcohol in his system because I didn't want him to sabotage our next stop over. And what do you know! The mother fucker is crying! I MEAN WTF! I asked him, "Why are you crying?" and then he said "Hindi kasi ako pinapansin ni G" At that moment of time, I wanted to put his head inside the toilet and then flush it. But instead, I did what I thought was right at that moment-ignore what he just said.
A little back track...M likes G, G on the other hand likes M but just got out of a 4 year relationship and haven't even moved on yet. He is not ready to commit nor he wants to.
So back on to my story, I asked M to pull himself together which he did half-assed. We said our goodbyes and thanks to everyone and headed to the car. Because of M's condition, I was fucking out numbered! They decided, to go grab something to eat then head home. Yes, at that point I was DEVASTATED! I was beginning to have fun! Arcee tried to calm me down by saying "its already 4am anyway" and I was like "We always go to that spot 3 or 4am and we leave the place when the sun is already rising but I don't hear anyone complain?!"
So anyway, M was drunk pretending to sleep and I know he could hear me rant and I wanted him to hear it. Finally we stopped over this joint to grab something to eat. We asked M if he wanted to eat? He just shrugged. "Pabayaan nyo na yan jan. patulugin nyo na lang kung ayaw" I told G and we got out to eat inside the establishment.
Once inside, I said Why not go to the next party and leave M inside the car? I said jokingly but it was half meant...I mean seriously. Kane, A, V and I at one point got super fucking wasted and drugged! To the point where Kane and V to the point of black out! I WAS FUCKING HALF DEAD ON THE STREETs of Ortigas and Malate but I still managed to get home all by self in one fucking piece! SUCK IT UP! Thats the number one party rule. WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR ALCOHOL/DRUG INTAKE. If we don't want to get too wasted, then moderately. Its so fucking easy! We don't blame our friends for the free drinks, we don't blame peer pressure since we are all fucking adults and we are are responsible for our own body.
We got back in the car and we decided to drop M off since he was "wasted". On our way to his place he woke up.
M: Baba nako ng kotche
G: Ihahatid ka na namin
M: Dito na lang ako gusto ko na bumababa sabi e
ME: Itabi mo na na G ibaba mo na
G: On the way na naman, ihatid ka na lang namin di ba lasing ka
M: Ititigil ba ung kotche o tatalon ako palabas?
ME: Itigil mo na G, pabayaan mo na sha kung gusto nya matanda na yan.
and then he went out of the car. At this point I was RAVING MAD!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS HIS PROBLEM PULLING A HIGHSCHOOL DRAMA ON US!! He was mad because G allegedly ignored him?!? MAy I fucking remind you that he was practically busy having a fucking concert and sucking someone face while holding a bottle of booze. If his mout wasn't infront of the mic, it was interlocked with someone else's. So the "hindi kasi ako pinapansin ni G" reason is BULL CRAP! And 2 Saturdays ago was no different either! We were in our usual hang out place and he was making out left and right infront of G's face but G was fine with it...it wasn't like they were dating or anything. Now why all of a suddent this became a fucking issue! GROW FUCKING UP! No one is buying your bull shit. I MISSED MY LAST STOP OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE OF YOUR BULL SHIT DRAMA YOU SELFISH, ASSHOLE! And also, G is not buying that he is drunk either. We partied harder than that night before but M never got drunk-passed out, acted like a bitch and he still manages to drive! Trying to blame it on the alcohol is the oldest fucking trick on the book...Thats the excuse pregnant HighSchool bitches say.
According to our brainstorming session as to why, he was acting like that all of a sudden is because, he felt guilty for making out infront of G and the worst part is G doesn't care. G was having a good time at the party, he never doesn't even care if M had sex with someone infront of him. To make things more interesting, he kept calling and texting all three of us! And he even thought that I would understand why he was acting out!?! Do I look like a moron? I am a good friend but if theres anything I don't tolerate it's bullshit drama! And why oh why is he in a fucking hurry to get out of the car then all of a sudden he wants to talk and would even commute just to explain and air out?! BABAE KA TEH?
Anyway, we all decided to give him the silent treatment for now but ofcourse, he is our friend and eventually we will talk to him and hang out with him but he needs to learn his lesson. If he wants to still be running with the pop girls then better keep up cause we don't slow down for nobody.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
That fatso had it coming! FYI: I don't see the point as to why bitch about me since I don't have a wide readership and like what he said: no one reads me. He has been picking fights with ALOT ALLLOOOOOTTT of bloggers from the past (to gain popularity I guess) but since I'm not popular I guess he decided to pick on me. Oh well, at the end of the day, at least I'm not 60 pounds overweight, I don't have a nose size of a pancake and my skin does not produce so much lard!
So now EDWIN JAMORA, you ugly tub of lard and shit, heart attack is on its way and since your like 100 years old, I suggest you start doing something productive with your pathetic life instead of feeling popular on cyber space---MOVE YOUR FAT ASS! DO COMMUNITY WORK! MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY (by killing yourself)!
FYI: THIS IS FUCKING CYBERSPACE! Not real life! Doesn't mean that just because there are 100 people reading your shit it means your a fucking celebrity! YOU WILL NEVER MATTER Edwin Jamora and you will never EVER be important to anyone...You will die alone, fat, ugly, broke and did I mention ALONE? Yes, your parents should have aborted you.
****Hopefully this will be my last post about EDWIN JAMORA****